THE SHELTER WAS HAMSTRUNG

154. THE SHELTER WAS HAMSTRUNG (the fire) - [Taken from 'The Blue Garden']

Forever narrowed by the wanting of something not to be had the name of the place is The Blue Garden and it embodies everything you've ever realized : twenty-five angels singing harsh truths two hundred zealots in fierce and determinate motion three caravans of nomads waltzing lightly over the desert sands five thousand lethal virgins swimming in want fifty thousand souls of the dead and each one holding a candle of eternal light and behind all of that rides the great sound of the deep the sound of life forever the never-ending scales of Heavenly orchestras playing without time and within all that is and the preachments stare back through windows a'flame the writhing hands of ten million lost send screams upward screaming and wherever one looks there is need and want and the opposite condition of each - plenty and abundance satisfaction and pleasure - where the lights are the source of all light and deep deep penetrants of space and time commingle BUT only is the secret opened for the elect and the saved for ONLY is the opening clear to those with new eyes and the vision of the saints arrayed and ONLY do the eyes perceive the darkened rooms behind each door when they too have been given new light and all things fall together in some different place some new-arrival of fortitude and understanding beyond all words ! and listen carefully for YOU shall hear : "the quote..." from everyone's mouth for everyone knows but for myself I have nothing different to say except that which comes forth from me - and therefore the Blue Garden is something I shall try to explain try to describe try to encolor with richness and precision : 'if place is somewhere we can remember and be at in the same instance therefore for that alone it is substantial and worth attending to and if the life we lead can be anything it should be INTERESTING it should be BOLD and UNENCUMBERED by the distractions and limitations that come with society' and TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE ! but I put things in a darker place I settle things separately and differently I am the one who waxes whimsical perhaps when I should be stern but the surprising thing is that there is surprise everywhere and for that I watch for should we be dogged in an enterprise with no reward ? should we persist in chasing things which in reality do not exist must we accumulate the piles of stuff with nowhere to go and pass on from that as empty as the day we came should we live the life of despair and loss which seems so solid around us ? NO NO I say ours instead is a staff for joy a reach Heavenward a twinkling in the eye towards some eternal truth and pathway before us and that struggle is more difficult than any other and it involves NOT haste but deliberate steps solid foundation and fitful marchings and 'when the student is ready for the Master the Master will appear' so fear not fret little and don't go out of your way to make an extra turn - for it's all written down already and all you are doing is following the script as dutifully as you can.
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"What I want more than anything else in music painting and poetry in life and in belief is the thrill that I experienced once in all the things that no longer thrill me at all - I am like a man in the grocery store that is sick and tired of raisins and oyster crackers and who nevertheless is overwhelmed by appetite" [Wallace Stevens, 1948, 67 years old].