THE CARNIVAL TENT HAD WHEELS

41. THE CARNIVAL TENT HAD WHEELS:

"You've got the smallest portion of anything that I've ever seen" the guy saying that was wearing a pale green jacket and as he spoke I wondered why (about the jacket not what he was saying) and I tried to remember where I'd hit myself earlier in the day when I'd fallen between two metal shelves and banged my chest - which was now really aching - but I couldn't really remember much except that I'd quickly gotten up almost as if nothing had happened and I now wondered about that too - why such a reaction ? what would have been so bad if someone had seen - things like that the sort of things which seemingly recur as - in retrospect - the mind goes over events which have already occurred and that in turn led me to question AGAIN the why of all that : why do we rehash old occurances in our brain why do we re-live that which has already transpired how broadly-based is our review process do people who've gotten seriously hurt in an accident or somesuch do they go on re-living the moment - sitting in hospital beds thinking over and over all which transpired to put them there IS the human condition one of constant reflection on events and DOES that differ greatly from the lower animal kingdom (as it's called) does a chicken remember exactly what happened to get it in that crowded cage-corner ? can it replay exactly what had occured which kept it from eluding the round-up do animals reflect their experiences as they sit about ARE they possessed in some way of much the same capacity as we are for rumination do they realize PERHAPS the accident of birth which brought them to their animal state in the here-and-now? do they know that pandemonium breaks out over intense ideas which conflict with other intense ideas CAN they understand any of that in the ANIMAL kingdom the home of the pecking-order the eternal state of prey the essence of warfare (the gazelle drinking water at the pond set upon by the lion seeking meat by the pond - the LION which knows that gazelles drink there and the gazelles which PRESUMABLY know from experience that lions feed there and ON them if possible) - and does any of that make sense to them SURVIVAL of the fittest winner take all last one in's a rotten egg and all the rest ! but humankind it seems seeks solace in its silence and stands AT THE SAME TIME in awe of nature all around it YET besmirched and sacrificed - it is no matter the consequences and who RUMINATES on that ? I wonder.