I really want to get this going....

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Saturday, July 29, 2006



I once was pretty sorry about a hundred things but now I'm sorry about nothing and in many ways they're both the same and I was reading John Gardner Nickel Mountain that is but all I could remember was October Light or November I forget and in the past that sort of thing would have sent me scurrying for reference books so as to look it up but now I really couldn't have cared less and the same went for Bobby Trenery's burned-down house - which burned last Friday and is now just a heap of timber and ash - there was a time when I'd wanted to have gone right over checked it out found him made sure he was OK and all of that but these days the fact that his house burned down concerns me little and probably good for him - cigarettes kerosene open stove or arson - any one of those options might have done him in and I just don't care - so it's like that now and because of it everything looks different CERTAINLY the present day for whereas before there seemed interesting things on every corner now it is all a blandishment of stupidity and rank foil and I can't understand anyone anyway or even be sure if they're talking to me - as it seems everyone now walks around talking to someone else unseen at the end of their arm and I recall a time in the 1970's for instance when the only madmen you'd see would be walking the streets along here talking to themselves or to a spectre whether wildly or calmly and they'd clearly be mad - flailing wildly on 23rd or shouting aloud on 14th - but now it seems everywhere I go everyone is doing that and no one is considered crazy anymore so perhaps society has progressed or perhaps it has not BUT in either case I'm on the outside looking out if you know what I mean - and I don't want membership even if it's offered I don't want to be part of that club for the world is a sadly human place and that's too much for me to take and - as Marx once said - I wouldn't want to be a part of any club that'd have me anyway.


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